“I’m Burnt Out!” A College Student’s Thorn
Sometimes life can feel like a plant cycle, at times you flourish and bloom, and at times you feel weak and withering. The latter is a progression of burnout.
What is burnout? It’s psychologically defined as a state of mental/physical/emotional exhaustion caused by excessive and prolonged stress. It usually happens when feeling overwhelmed, drained, and unable to meet demands. It can be hard to recognize, and it’s something I wish I recognized at the start of 2023.
Burnout ruined my spring and summer semesters. I couldn’t do any of my work, I didn’t want to go to school, and all the instructions were foggy. It frustrated me, and my instructors. The only course I did well in over those two semesters was my Media Writing course, and the professor that taught it was the father of one of my mom’s coworkers. He, and the way he checked in and kept me engaged, were the only things that kept me going in his class.
Burnout also severely affected this website development, as I would write out ideas, but I would never start them. Eventually this site became obsolete for me against my wishes. I couldn’t get myself to start any projects. The only thing I was doing was eating, sleeping, chores, and streaming games on Twitch.
I found a book I had on my shelf called Stay Hungry & Kick Burnout In The Butt by Dr. Steven Berglas. It was a book I had forgotten I had ordered. I’ve been reading it, praying on it, and it’s led me to think about some things I needed to do to make sure I didn’t blow it this semester (even after the Academic Workshop since I’m now under an Academic Warning.)
Today I want to share with you what I’ve learned from this book and some ideas I’ve come up with that helped me get through the first week and what I hope will help me get through the semester. I can do a follow-up on each and be more specific with what I’ve learned and want to learn. I also want to fully disclose I am not a licensed psychologist or psychiatrist, and if you think you need professional help I urge you to go get it.
Revisit Your Goals
I still wanted that quilt shop, and I still wanted to marry my best friend, but those are non-specific and something in the next 5 years. I had nothing for now until 2024-2025. All I had in my head was: graduate, get to Arizona, get married, establish his café, build my quilt shop. Do you see the problem?
The first step I took was to reevaluate where I am right now, and how I can accomplish the first step of graduating. I decided that the fastest route, and most productive for me where I can stay engaged and not be forced to take classes I didn’t want to, was to pursue a Bachelor of Science in Communications rather than Bachelor of Arts. Thanks to the versatility of monday.com I was able to remap and relist all my classes I needed for what requirements (and start an electives list.) It allowed me to see what I had left and where I could designate classes for what semester.
To borrow a quote from the introduction of the book: “Its advantageous to diagnose your professional situation and your role in it with insight, understanding, and precision,” (xix.) I was stuck, and I had a lot of hurdles that I both unknowingly set for myself and the hurdles that the program already had established. With the time frame I set, and with a lot of prerequisites, I had to question if this was worth it to me and if these were the courses I wanted to take.
Right now, for Fall 2023, I'm taking classes that intrigue me, and that fulfill requirements. I'm excited for this Fall, and I’m even more pumped up for Spring 2024. In Dr. Berglas’ book, he writes that engaging in our passions is both emotionally and physically energizing. I need that more than ever if I want to meet my goals both short term and long term. I’ll do a follow-up explaining all the changes I’ve made to my goals.
2. Make Time for Hobbies and Personal Projects
I remember feeling shut down, wanting to do what I wanted to do and either not doing it and not doing the work I needed to do, and doing it and just not doing anything else but it. I wasn’t even reading my Bible as much as I longed to do so but didn’t! missed being creative, being social, and being imaginative. The thing about me is I struggle with time-management. I’m unable to block time to do work, to study, and for how long.
When I do something, I do it however long it takes, never being sure how long it takes. I think that’s what irritated my father so much: me never knowing how long it would take to complete my history homework.
I started using this tool a couple months ago called Motion, an AI personal assistant where it arranges tasks and appointments your day for you. I have 3 calendars I operate on: business, personal, and school. Motion is good about reminding me when my homework is due and blocking in time to do the homework. It schedules my tasks around classes and appointments and shows me if I have any open time. If I miss my time block it will reschedule the task to a later time leading up to the due date. I’ll do another post about Motion. I can see what I need to do and it shows me where I can schedule free time.
Thanks to me taking the time to make time for what I want, I can tick off all the things on my list: making a baby quilt, planning the shop, completing some professional development courses, even hanging out with friends.
3. Talk to More People
This is the most obvious step, but it's also the hardest thing for me to do since I’m not very social. It’s been a bad habit since I was a child: I’ve always been afraid of asking for help. I had the belief that I had to be self-reliant, that no one will do it for me, and that it’s something I need to do myself.
There’re several things wrong with that mindset. First off, I need to remember I’m not asking anyone to do it for me, I’m asking for help. It could be bouncing ideas, asking for advice, or just a reference to something I need or want.
Second, you have no idea how toxic the idea of self-reliance is. While dependency is questionable, being reliant on self closes you off from others and it instills a habit of not talking to people. I’ve been talking to Nate a lot more on problems (and it usually devolves into him reassuring me of everything which makes me fear of the Aronson Principle,) but I need to talk to the important people in my life more too: my brethren, my parents, my elders, even my professors. It makes a huge difference, it forces a check in, and it allows others to help.
More importantly, I need to talk to God more. He is always in control, and He is always listening. It's up to me to talk to Him and to listen for Him. He can do anything and make anything happen as long as I tell Him and ask Him for it. If it wasn’t for God, I would never have met Nate.
In Conclusion
There are numerous ways someone can go about fighting burnout, but for me I simply forgot where I wanted to go, who I have in my life, and what I wanted to change to be the person I wanted and needed to be. In the face of adversity, I think the world is eager to lie to you that you are alone when God says otherwise. In Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, Solomon writes that two is better than one, and that they will always have someone to lift them up when the other falls. Even he understands that we’re not alone nor were we ever meant to be alone. I think that’s what worsens the burnout.
If you have any questions or comments for me, I’d love to hear them! I plan on following up on a lot of what I wrote here, but if you want a follow up on something else let me know!